me.
There is no real "sanctity of marriage".
Being married isn't a magical
cheating/lying/deceiving blocker. I
don't know why people get married
for reasons other than the legality of
it. It's the actual relationship that
matters. I know its supposed to be a
life long commitment, but you can
form that without a marriage.
A spiritual connection.
An understanding between you and your significant other (and deity if you're religious). Just think, if
more people would say "let us spend
the rest of our lives together" and do
that without the pressure that so
called marriages carry. What would happen?
Well, I think that some relationships would fall. Some would say "you have no ring, I have no devotion to you" (which is the issue, is that what you need?), but some would flower. Without the pressures of bible bound commitment , witnesses, expectations (this word in itself is an issue), some might feel free to actually .........love.
Just think about how you have had life long loving friendships. Did you guys vow, hold a ceremony, and sign/seal/deliver it in front of a bunch of people.
Of course not! Sounds kinda crazy, doesn't it?
I tell you what you might have done. You might have pinky promised, hand shaked, held a cute meeting, verbally expressed, etc what you thought or wanted your friendship to be.
While a significant other is different in the sexual and desire aspect, the thought process is still the same.
If plans don't pan out, you can "divorce" without all
of the fireworks that it carries.
Marriage seems more like a "you
can't have anyone else" trap (false
sense of security). Almost as if you need a weight holding you down, to not stray. Like you have this force that you cannot let die.
I myself have been caught up in the serious relationship/marriage hype, but I have realized that in a relationship: the amount of time you've been together with someone, getting married , trials and tribulations you go through together, "love", etc... doesn't matter if just one person loses interests or wants out. Not one bit. Those things are meaningless. It's all about the present.
Why get married? What is the point?
That sad day may still come. May not.
Well, you might think...what about SC?
I say that a spiritual connection understanding is not a marriage. There is no false hope, there are no promises, no pressure. Perhaps laying negative cards on the table and analyzing it. Just letting the person know where you stand and what you hope your relationship to be. If it fails, then well....we can try to fix it or go our separate ways. No angry witnesses and no broken expectations.
I don't want you weighted to me, bound to me, promised to me in front of a crowd of witnesses. I want you here because you want to.
However though, it's easier said than done. Even the person writing these words. I have had this way of thinking for a long time, but when I get in relationships, my tune sometimes changes. Sometimes I actually try to bind someone to me. It happens, but when the relationship fails or I get the proper amount of time to actually analyze and access the issue, I always come back to this point.
This is just me and my little random beliefs. Drop a comment if you want! Lets talk about it....
:)
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